igor cd10

welcome to cd10 advanced frame control

how to lead any interaction this is a very exciting CD because although you won't be doing any hypnotic patterns themselves will be learning all about how to project the kind of reality but other people will find almost

irresistible and collapse their way of thinking into which means you can lead away people from any kind of resistance or inhibitions and make them want to do the kind of things that you want them to do very naturally now the first thing we

look at is what is actually a frame what does it mean and how can you recognize them in all interactions and we'll talk a bit about frame wars the way that people will clash their realities and what determines which one of those

realities will win next we'll look at some of the strategies you can use to dominate the frame so that your reality is always the one that wins this frame war you'll discover the power of reframing reframing and d framing all

kinds of different ways of dealing with challenges to your reality that other people might give it to you but above all else will look at how to maintain your frame maintain your projection of your reality in such a clear smooth and

totally profound way that other people just naturally tend to collapse the route into yours and just want to live in the kind of world that you consider to be true finally seeing as you'll learn how to be

creating that kind of profound reality anyway we're going to discuss a few possibilities a few ideas for kind of framework of realities you can step into a Dopp for yourself in order to make your life richer more successful and you

can improve the way you influence other people just by the way you enhance to enrich your experience so as soon as you're ready to learn all these things just sit back relax and enjoy learning conversational hypnosis

the first thing we need to look at is this idea of what is a frame-by-frame is a frame of reference by which you understand other things if you think about it nothing that anyone says or does it has any meaning by itself it's

always in some context or other and that context will color its meaning I'll give an example of what I mean you're on the bus and you see a man with his children and the children running right they're going crazy all over the

place suddenly want the back passengers looks at me and says to him you know why don't you take control of your children so the first frame is man bad father and hasn't control his children but the man turned around and system

well I'm very sorry but the mother just died today and I haven't had the car to tell these kids yet and i'm just taking over to their grandparents so they can look after him for a bit while say sort out what needs to happen suddenly the

man turns around the passengers around and says well don't worry I'll help out with the kids and I can I think about that situation you have a situation which has been to Hong completely on its head

as soon as you had a little bit more information so the power of frames is the power to control meaning of any particular interaction the same interaction will mean two totally different things

assuming that you change the frame around them much like a picture can look right in one set of frames and tell you wrong when placed in the completely the wrong context let's take another look at frames let's say you're standing in a

set of traffic lights lights are red and you can't go anywhere suddenly look in your rear-view mirror you hear siren and an ambulance come speeding past and it goes right through the red lights now how do you feel that point if you like

most other people you feel lonely a video right the amulet has to go somewhere how to do something so you soon that is doing a good thing now let's compare that for example to the example

we're right off the ambulance drives the red lights a man red Ferrari drives right through the week which is created by the ambulance and drives the same red lights they compare the two events is both of

the times is a vehicle over taking you to set of red lights and go through those red lights but because of the assumptions you have made about those vehicles your reaction changes from that's ok through two who does he think

he is and to make that even more obvious what if i told you that as the ambulance being through the back of the ambulance opens up and you see a whole bunch of students parting they've obviously just

all in the ambulance and one of them goes as far as making a rude gesture you so now your perception of the ambulance has completely changed on its head likewise of the car and told the man inside the car is actually got a woman

sitting next to his wife she's pregnant and she's falling down stairs now is rushing her to the hospital to try and save the baby again all the meanings has changed the event to stay the same but all those meanings changed when your

assumptions around what's going on has changed and that is the power of frames frames create a set of assumptions which are almost unquestioned where people use those as a yardstick by which to measure everything else that said and done in

that context for example for most people a police officer or dr. are symbols of authority and with good positive things so when you measure things against the police officer for example someone is being rude and complains if the person

that he's complaining about is a homeless person well the past is complaining about is a police officer your experience of that complaint will be completely different the way you will evaluated will be

completely different so for example taking a very common institution that people have very mixed feelings about let's take the church in particular the Roman Catholic Church and this is because a lot of people have

very strong polar views of it some people will tell you that the Catholic Church is an integer action of pure evil and only bad things come from it other people will tell you that the Holy

Church and only good things can come from it even though it being a large institution mistakes can be made from time to time now this is important the truth of the matter is probably somewhere in between

the truth is irrelevant because whatever the church does based on whether you have the perception that it's a holy and good place or an evil and bad place all these behaviors will be re-evaluated in accordance with that yardstick so it

goes in and does some good deeds somewhere the personal things is an evil institution will turn around say this is just another proof how evil they are because i manipulating everyone to try like them so they can then stop poison

them within their own ideas of course the people who think that the church is a good place will turn around and say well this is an example of just how good the church is because all the good thing that's doing regardless of what your own

perceptions are of that particular institution the important thing for you to realize is that whatever happens there's a frame in action whatever that frame is will absolutely determine how people will evaluate whatever you do

whatever you say so the power to control frames is really the power to lead any interaction so this is what we're going to be examining here how do you create frames and how do you break other people's friends now let me

introduce it to this idea of frame wars and frames control meanings then people walk around with this idea of what the world is supposed to mean to them like a little bubble of reality that's around them whenever two or more people meet

their realities begin to clash they have a frame or to find out who's reality will dominate what will we actually believe as a group of people so one of those frames of reference has to give way to the other in practice one will

influence us some great degree or less degree but one of them will always win out to a great extent to another one this is called framework because when two people meet you always see this is like a territorial tussle

going on about how will we look at the world was going to be true between us what's going to happen if you take the example of a Salesman coming in to meet a new client the client my rolls eyes up and go on oh here we go again yet

another salesman to tell me what I have to buy work on by now salesmen an uphill struggle that point because the client or the potential client has put a whole new frame around the interaction now that salesman is good you might change

the frame and say today is your lucky day because on wonderful things are going to happen so there are two competing framed oh no not another salesman somebody's is going to try and tell me what to do with

my love money and the frame of this is an exciting day is a great opportunity if the clients frame wins he won't be a client he'll get annoyed he will take everything the salesman says as being

some kind of snake oil salesman or untrustworthy and refuse to buy if this salesman frames wins the chances are the customer will be infused enough to want to buy something so then the question is how do you actually begin to change

frames we're going to have a look at that in just one moment now from that example own you can already see how when people try and resist you somewhere fight back against some way resistance in this respect is a sign that someone

has lost the frame wall and the frame that's one out is not a beneficial 12 either party so one of the reasons why you want to win this frame or is because that way you can lead the interaction which is to the place which is useful

for everyone concerned if you don't do that you simply take the risk that at the whim of the potential client or the person you're talking to you have had a bad day for example so that women alone will color the whole interaction in a

negative way and nothing useful get achieved so your job as a conversational hypnotist is to recognize the frames find out when someone is testing the frame that you're trying to present and learn how to establish your

frame so that you can create a genuine win-win for everyone now want to emphasize something and that is that people will test your frames whether they would consciously or unconsciously it's going to happen it's going to

happen probably more than once typically what will happen is one when you first meet someone there'll be a lot of testing of each other's frames to find out who's being genuine how we're going to look at the

world whatwhat yardstick will be used to judge this interaction by then when one frame has one out the tends to be a more easing off of interaction everything goes more smoothly for workers everyone

know what is what's going on for most part the frames will then stay relatively static until a new elements are introduced either new person comes in there's a new experience that it's a particular threshold or you do something

out of character which begins to put everything else you've done into question now the next track will look at the tactics for winning this frame wall because when you do that you'll have a

power to lead any interaction into any direction that you want to show how you win the frame war with are four primary tactics the first one is maintaining your frame second one is pre framing then there's

reframing and finally there's d framing now let's have a look at those very briefly and then we'll take each one in turn and really drill down into the details of it maintain your frame as the name implies

is you may simply maintain your own view of reality no matter what the objections happen to be the way you look at this in a sense of a metaphor is imagine that you are a narrow and flight and someone's trying to knock yer the way

but you just going to keep going through like a train moving on one track no matter what people trying to take you off that track you remain solid and firm on that it can be incredibly powerful because a lot of times people objections

or their challenges two frames are more to test an unconscious level how genuine you are and if you remain totally genuine then they'll go well I guess this must be the right way of things apri frame on the other hand

is a way to inoculate against objections coming up in the first place in a pre frame you all you actually tell people in advance what they should be paying attention to so that by the time you actually get to the interaction there

are assuming that the frames that you have set are actually correct so very often maintaining your frame and pre framing will go hand in hand because of frames you have set in advance in other words pre framed with the ones that if

they do get challenged you'll have to maintain by just pushing right through and assuming they are correct the next kind of frame is a reframing this is a typically a therapeutic and a pattern where you take an objection handle it in

a reframe what you're saying is essentially don't look at it this way look at it that way the old cliché of every cloud has a silver lining has the essence of reframing embedded within it finally we come on 2d framing defriend

is very interesting because you actually turn the tables remember when someone is challenging your frame there's actually challenge going on much like a jewel being offered when UD

frame rather than pairing there blows what you'll be doing instead of running a pure defense is to run offensive defense in other words get the other person on the defensive to justify their own frame and then you'll actually

haven't buy more into the frame that you want them to buy if you want to have a simple metaphor that will remind you about which kind of framing or which one tactic means what the way look at maintaining your frame it's a bit like a

rock standing middle of the ocean matter what the ocean does or throws it the rock is always gonna stay there solid a pre frame is very much like a lion from the story of David and Goliath is huge massive construct people take

one look at and go there's nowhere to challenge that a reframe on the other hand is more like David from the story of David and Goliath he's the one that'll see what the challenges will step up to

the plate and you're confronted finally the deep frame is very much like the Navy SEALs rather than taking something on head on what you'll do is you'll come around the side and on the backs and destroy the supply wagons all the

ammunition dumps was that you busy trying to fight the war different front and by the time they realize what's going on of course you've already won the battle so let's start off by looking at the

brie frame remember the pre frame is the Goliath of the framing tactics in pre frame what you're basically going to do is create some kind of assumption that looking at certain things are the important things to look at now because

of mind can only handle seven plus or minus two bits of information if you set up reframe elegantly the beginning then they'll only evaluate the interaction according to those particular conditions because all the other ones will have

been driven out of their heads by the way you directing people to focus the power the pre frame is that you crush objections before they can even formulate consciously so that they never really arise properly

let me give an example of how pre-fame works in action without looking outside the window right now tell me how many cars how many red cars other in the street that you live on now you might be able to answer that just off the top of

your head you might not if you can't answer off the top of your head one of the things the things that will happen is as soon as you go to the window look outside of step outside your front door

your mind will automatically begin to orient itself toward all the red cars because as soon as a question has been raised in your mind you want to start answering it when you start answering questions about how many red cards are

there you probably won't notice other things like how many rubbish bins are standing around how many children are playing how many bicycles are in the local area because your reference point is cars in particular red cars so pre

frames so the conditions right in advance that other people begin to evaluate things by I is house tall enough is house far away enough is it expensive enough those kind of things i want to hurt a great stage

hypnotist to a fantastic pre frame at the beginning of the show he said something along the following lines you know actually shows a lot of times and people really have all kinds of wild misunderstandings about what the power

of suggestion is and what it can do now some of you will probably have a very accurate idea of what the power of suggestion actually means and you guys will really enjoy this show because you'll recognize all the things that I'm

talking about now the rest of you you might find yourself being very surprised and delightful way discovering how many misconceptions used to have and actually discovering what the real secret to

suggestions are and how they can apply to your life I think very carefully about the pre frame that the state of the dishes did in essence the frame here setup is if you disagree with me then you don't

understand the nature of suggestion therefore you're wrong if you agree with me you understand the true nature of suggestion and therefore right so whether you agree or disagree with me either way I'm right and your opinion is

either backing me up what happens to be an invalid opinion that is a wonderful frame to set up because provider people actually accepted will happen is they will automatically begin to ask themselves a

different set of questions the questions are not whether or not they believe you whether or not you're good at what you do the question will be whether or not their understandings were correct in

other words are they right or wrong it's completely reversed the normal frame of reference now the state hypnotist no longer have to prove anything because it's only up to the audience to decide whether or not they've learned something

new or they actually knew that in advance anyway here's another example of a pre frame in action let's say your real estate agent and you're selling property another house going to show someone is

not in the center of town but a little bit outside now one way to inoculate any object since that might happen regarding distance is too casually mention the beginning something on the lines of i'm

not sure i show you this house is a fantastic and a lot of people wanted the only trouble is you might be a little bit too close to town for most people because a lot of people like to have you know the beautiful countryside of some

supper be especially for children to grow up in now the question becomes not just too far away but it is too close of course you already know in advance that it can't be too close but because

you've effectively reverse the frame people will now be judging it by a very different set of standards another way you might inoculate against the distance of the house is that take a completely different unit of measurement and get

them to judge it by that for example as you need two large house you might say to them well you know i'm gonna show this house and it's a beautiful house you'll love it instantly the only problem is I don't know if

we'll be large enough for you so now you want to have a very large house now of course I'll go in with the anticipation of judging it is this house large enough or not if the house is large enough in advance

anyway we know this for a fact they're going to come on down on our side of the argument anyway so we know that they're fighting an argument at a point that we can't lose that however by actually trying to make that value judgment about

the size of the house the mind are so caught up in that process that the question of distance really doesn't occur to them anymore and that is the real power of doing pre frames here's a simple process you can go

through in order to realize how to establish a frame the first thing you do is look at your outcome what is it you want people to do in this particular example we've been using so far it to have someone buy a house now the next

question to ask yourself is what would have to be true one hundred percent true in the world in which that house is bored by that particular family well one of the things that have to be true for example is that the house is

desirable if that house is desirable then chances are these people wanted to now what does a desirable house looked like well other families will want to have a to now here's an interesting thing just because this property is now

suddenly in a world a reality where is a desirable property it means that the property has to be more expensive because desirable properties are more expensive than not undesirable properties so you have

already inoculated against their price objection purely based on the frame that everyone wanted to have this place if everyone wants to have this assuming they buy into that frame they may well want it as well and the price is no

longer a question the question becomes more how do they are forwarded or how do they beat all the other competition for example by making a commitment sooner than everyone else now the power of this isn't in button

you saying quite directly oh by the way everyone wants to buy this property because that's too obvious and people start analyzing and critically looking at that statement the power that frame comes from the sub communications

in other words what do you propose we assumed to be true one of the stories you're telling what is the attitude you have with state of mind area are you all the sellers in themselves which backup this particular

claim and I can't emphasize enough the sub communications is what creates the frame is what maintains a frame when we look at maintaining a frame later on we'll examine this idea even more fully let me give you a very visual example of

all these sub communications might look like let's assume that you're selling Ferraris high-performance sports cars everyone knows gonna be expensive now person comes in they love the car they

want to bide and in fact you have the last one in the showroom they have to wait maybe another year before the next generation of Ferraris are made in the workshop so this is a highly desirable car now let's say you have someone here

wants to buy the car and he looks at you and says by the way how many miles do the colin you tell them and they look at your horrified saying all that's that's too expensive and i just can't imagine the look of sheer

disbelief that the car room sales person would have if a client ever objected to the miles per gallon that you can get out of her Ferrari because the whole concept of buying a Ferrari doesnt sit in a world where you budget for fuel

it just doesn't exist so it's going to be thinking that way is the most bizarre thing imaginable this is how you have to think about setting all your pre frames you create a world in which whatever objection

someone else might have are so bizarre that they can't even our rise properly as you said we communicate those in your body language and your expression of the stories that you tell then you actually begin to inoculate people and prevents

them from actually raising objections themselves which of course makes it more likely that the end up buying that car next let's look at reframing now reframing comes from the therapeutic field in which you get clients look at

the world in a different way now reframing comes basically into forms what's known as a context reframe and a meaning reframe in a context reframe you maintain the same behavior the same situation you just change the context to

make it more valuable in a meaning reframe you simply change what the situation actually means in other words you say they look at this way to put it that way let's have a look at a context reframe

for a moment and imagine someone looking at a sports car and they find out how many horsepower it has and then they look up and say he might turn around and say something like I don't know that seems like too much power for me you ask

my means that and it turns out that he liked to have saved cars the refrain becomes almost too simple of that point you just point out that sometimes a good acceleration keeps you out of trouble more than a good a bit of a break so for

example when you're on a motorway and the car in front of these acting up and straightaway being able to overtake it quickly and safely allows you to get through some potential problem area before any problems

actually arise you now taking the very quality their speed which used to be a problem you've actually turned it into the major advantage that's the advantage of doing a context reframe you've moved context to one where the power the speed

becomes one of great value in a MTG reframe all you're going to do is you can maintain the same situation you should change what it actually means let's take the example of two colleagues who have a conflict at work your imagine

somebody have to negotiate a resolution between them one of them has the objection that the other one is always being to us or always being harsh or critical so we take the actual situation harsh and critical language there are

all kinds of different meanings that you can draw from it perhaps the person is some of fields but under pressure themselves or tack themselves and the person is just putting in their attack our

counter-offensive ahead of time to make sure they get hurt perhaps the person isn't being critical for critical sake but because they want to actually make sure the project works out well they're trying to anticipate

any problems in the future you notice we've already got two different reframes two different ways of looking at the same behavior as being something of a different character than want to cause a problem the first place

this is the exact situation that happens a lot of times when I'm doing my corporate coaching in that situation when you have conflict between for example members of the board of directors a very simple way to resolve

the conflict is to give everyone one of these personality test like myers-briggs or belbin etc all the directors are in conflict take these tests invariably their personality profiles look very different and suddenly you can actually

explain away their disputes not because ones writer was wrong once obstinate etc but because they're different personalities look for different kinds of information and they're merely miscommunicating so

to turn a conflict and turn around say actually guys what you're doing is giving each other wrong kind of information which is creating this conflict suddenly d potentiates the whole stress and tension within the

situation because known as someone else physically attacking your verbally attacking you it's now someone else responding to an inappropriate kind of communication and of course if you change that somebody

everyone starts getting along again so reframing is actually a very powerful way of handling objections or dealing with problems that people might throw at you and remember there are two very simple questions that you need to ask

yourself in order to come up with an appropriate reframe the question for a context three frame is simply in what situation in what context with this problem with this behavior actually be worthwhile having for a meaning reframe

the question you ask yourself is what else could this very same set of facts mean there's actually more beneficial more positive than the current interpretation that people are putting on to it now both kinds of reframes are

actually very healthy and very important because what you're doing is you're taking someone's got a very limited view of the world a very rigid way of saying only this interpretation can possibly be correct and your enriching their model

of the world their ability to see the world in different ways if you give people enough choices one of those choices might actually better than the kind of choices are stuck with inside their own heads so your job is basically

to give them enough choices of other positive interpretations so they can select one that actually makes them live a more happy more fulfilling and perhaps more carefree life so that's the value of reframing it expands and enriches

people's ability to enjoy the world and of course it makes you more successful and influential as a human being as well let's turn our attention now at the framing the framing is almost a Jedi arts of change

being framed from someone because you're not going to take the objection all the challenge head-on we're going to do is going to offer a counter challenge which is more important than the original objection and so the original objection

just disappears let me give you a very elegant example of one of these things which happened during a pitch meeting when my one of my partners and I went to a potential new client for some coaching work now the

director of the board sat down and within two minutes of us introducing each other and having a chat you turned around and asked us so tell me why should I hire you guys now it's tone was a very challenging tone very

much compressed yourself to me sort of tone and without thinking about it one of my partner's turn around and said to him well you know what I guess we may have misunderstood things and you're probably right

we probably shouldn't any work together and he got up preparing to leave now you should have seen the look on this directors face no one has ever offered to leave a negotiation tip with him before he's

always had the upper hand before and study this person is so secure in his bargaining position that he refuses to engage in a tip for tap game or justifying his existence is going to walk away

what has this person god so remember the sub communication is that what we do is so valuable that if you don't want it will be plenty of people around the do you won't believe how quickly called us back into that meeting and yes we're not

getting the Commission and a whole lot more to boot as well Saudi framing allows you to turn frames around on people by challenging a completely different idea to the Wonder present in the first place

some of the best d frames I've ever experienced are ones done almost inhuman we tease someone else for the very question I've asked you here is another example of addy frame i saw between a couple of friends eating lunch in the

park one turns to the other and said some hay that resembles looks a bit rich are you sure you should be eating that so there's a clear criticism involved the other one just smiled and turned and

said hey you trying to steal my sandwich no you can't have any of this so notice how it's done in a very playful sort of way and by doing this playful tease back is actually basically turned around and said your objection is really silly when

you think about it but because he hasn't said it outright is just sub communicated the other person backs off and let the objection go it's a very natural way of people to do this hear the word of warning though if

you're going to use the frames if you use them in a humorous sort of way as in this example make sure you do it generally in a gentle and fun sort of way you're projecting and fun sort of why was he doing this because the

chances that you can be perceived as being sarcastic or caustic are quite high otherwise and all that's going to do is damage your relationship also d frames tend to be very very powerful because they're basically jolt people

are there in reality it's our brand new reality so the only way they'll work is if you're very congruent in other words you must believe in the value of the frame that you're setting and you must be able to presented in a strong and

confident air because the other person will then very quickly collapsar reality into that you must also be sure this is a good thing for both you and the other person because he's starting advantage of people all that's going to happen is

you'll make a very slippery slope down to spin doctors and soon you'll be in the same category as political commentaries and door-to-door salespeople so remember d frames draw the power but not meeting a challenge

head-on but by deflecting incoming from one side or the other isn't it another example of what I mean by that let's say that you're a Salesman a car showroom and a person is trying to buy a car find out the price and says well

actually you know what I think that's a bit too expensive for me then as a salesperson turn around and defraying that by saying you know I'm actually glad you said that because i always get quite nervous saying this model because

people don't quite realize just how to power the getting for their money and to be honest with you I'm not sure most people who buy in this price range actually know how to handle a car like this so ask my boss really makes me show

this car to everyone I have to admit I'm really quite relieved when people go for something a bit more set date you know something that small or something more safe and secure notice how yet again this d frame has

built into it a challenge the challenges are you man enough to drive this car and of course you must make sure that the challenge embedded within the d frame is one that the person you're talking to actually wants to rise up to

so this is a family person then perhaps you actually wants a safe and secure car which means rd framework if place in that particular way if it's a younger person though say young man who wants a sports car to drive around town and he's

more likely to rise to the bait because now you've taken away the prices of consideration the question is is he man enough to actually drive this car and of course you're presenting this challenge in a way which is very subtle and very

indirect so we've covered reframing pre framing & D framing now we're looking at how to maintain your frame without doing any of these things because really the most powerful way of maintaining your frame we don't have to do anything in

particular is just about how you project yourself as a human being and the way you walked the world maintaining your frame really subtly indicated a very strong stay away i'm very secure in who I am I know what I am I know what I'm

doing and because you're very secure in that particular message everyone else around you becomes very secure as well the essence to the art of maintaining your frame naturally is the ability to just a very firmly planted in your

reality to know what your truth is and to stay there now this leads to some very interesting outcomes for example there are two very important categories of people who have mastered the art of maintain the frame without even thinking

about it these two categories are the person who's passionate and the person who is slightly psychotic now these might seem very strange categories to happen but let's look at what they do some of the

psychotic is someone who's basically lives in their own reality to such an extent that nothing that anyone else can say or do will actually shake him from his conviction from his beliefs this is why a lot of sort of psychotic

personalities can be very very charismatic it's because they tend to collapse everyone else's that's realities around them into themselves unless people of course notice something strange is going on and disappear so

this is why of cult leaders for example tend to have a slightly psychotic personality is because they believe in what they're doing so much even though it's a slightly strange universe believe it's so much that everyone else around

them start collapsing their realities their frames into the dominant frame as well that's the unhealthy way to it they're healthy way to do it is to take a lesson from the passionate people like the visionary leaders people who are

passionate people who are visionary leaders believe in that visions so much that the energy in sheer enthusiasm carry them through all doubts all challenges and it's almost like any doubt of challenges looked at as how can

this possibly true because they live so firmly planted in this new vision that nothing else can seem to get through to them now this is important because all they're doing is they're projecting a very high level of Congress that

authority that says this is correct this is the way that things are anything about the difference between a politician or spin doctor or any kind of cheap snake-oil salesmen the difference between them and the passionate

visionary leader is purely to do with where they're coming from in other words that their congruence isn't there someone who's a snake-oil salesman is leaking out this sub communicating that they do not believe

in the very message they're giving to you so that all the right words seem to be there but because you don't trust those words the metaframe the big frameset around all that is this person is trying to

deceive me and yet people who are passionate and visionary leaders have the opposite all their sub communications are telling you this is true this is the way the world is and if you join me

you can live in this world as well and of course people find that immensely appealing and there will over time begin to allow their own gravities collapse into that is how we manage to stay in a society the way we stay sane or check

that we're still saying is we do something called reality testing which means we're constantly singing out these little pink other people to check that the way we look at the world is pretty much still in alignment with the way

that everyone else does and that way at least we know we're still in a reasonable state of sanity and can live within the society now when we reality test we keep getting these things back saying no this is wrong this is the way

it is but they're very very solid things it tells us at an unconscious level we need to readjust our expectations of the world that is how reality testing works we take our cues from my environment to check whether or not things are still

correct so when we first meet a stranger whatever their sub communications are will actually take that to be at face value so so someone is incongruent it looks like they're lying to you and the

instant warning bells go off saying this poses a conman do not trust this person and this is true throughout the phases of trying to establish and maintain your frame now thing that visionary leaders to that people are passionate about

something do is they get so carried away by the emotion but the vision that they've inspired inspired by that they forget to do anything bad live in that reality that anything else of a country almost gets deleted out now when you're

constantly reality testing and the one and only constant in your reality test is a signal coming back saying this is real this is real this is real this is real eventually through repetition and reinforcement it actually becomes real

you will tend to call apps are reality into that which means the most passionate and vivid frame has one if you're going to do this make sure that you back things up with your own beliefs in other words you must build even what

you're doing if you don't believe in it why should anyone else to it and we're going to believe in something will make sure it's worthwhile believing because ultimately this will affect you as much as the rest of the world so this is

going back to the very core principle of going first if you believe in what you're talking about in the frame that you said with absolute passion and conviction there is nothing anyone else can do to rattle

that cage and prevent it from happening now the next track we're going to look at a couple of ways that you can handle challenges to your frame in such a way that it builds your own belief and other people's belief in that frame that makes

it more real for everyone is something that you sub communicate and something that was that first becomes a bit of pressure on you over time you become so accustomed to that you yourself become rock-solid your

beliefs your convictions and in the way that you project those through your friends so we've covered reframing pre framing & D framing now we look at how to maintain your frame without doing any of these

things because really the most powerful way of maintaining your frame we don't have to do anything in particular just about how you project yourself as a human being and the way he walks the world maintaining your frame really

subject indicating a very strong her away i'm very secure in who I am I know what I am I know what I'm doing and because you're very secure in that particular message everyone else around you becomes very secure as well the

essence to the art of maintaining your frame naturally is the ability to just a very firmly planted in your reality to know what your truth is and to stay there now this leads to some very interesting outcomes for example there

are two very important categories of people who have mastered the art of maintaining the frame without even thinking about it these two categories are the person who's passionate and the person who is

slightly psychotic now these might seem very strange categories to happen but let's look at what they do some of the psychotic is someone who's basically lives in their own reality to such an extent that nothing that anyone else can

say or do will actually shake him from his conviction from his beliefs this is why a lot of sort of psychotic personalities can be very very charismatic is because they tend to collapse everyone else's that's

realities around them into themselves unless people of course noticed something strange is going on and disappear so this is why of cult leaders for example tend to have a slightly psychotic personality is because they

believe in what they're doing so much even though it's a slightly strange universe that believe it's so much that everyone else around them starts collapsing their realities their frames into the dominant frame as well that's

the unhealthy way to do it they're healthy way to do it is to take a lesson from the passionate people in life the visionary leaders people who are passionate people who are visionary leaders believe in that vision

so much that the energy in sheer enthusiasm carries him through all doubts or challenges and it's almost like any doubt of challenges looked at as how can this possibly true because they live so firmly planted in this new

vision that nothing else can seem to get through to them now this is important because what they're doing is they're projecting a very high level of Congress that authority that says this is correct this is the way that things are anything

about the difference between a politician or spin doctor or any kind of cheap snake-oil salesmen the difference between them and the passionate visionary leader is purely to do with where they're coming from

in other words that their congruence isn't there someone who's a snake-oil salesman is leaking out this sub communicating that they do not believe in the very message they're giving to you so that all the right words seem to

be there but because you don't trust those words the metaframe the big frameset around all that is this person is trying to deceive me and yet people who are passionate and visionary leaders have the opposite all their sub

communications are telling you this is true this is the way the world is and if you join me you can live in this world as well and of course people find that immensely appealing and there will over time begin

to allow their own realities collapse into that is how we manage to stay in a society the way we stay sane or check that we're still saying is we do something called reality testing which means we're constantly sing out these

little pink other people to check that the way we look at the world is pretty much still in alignment with the way that everyone else does and that way at least we know we're still in a reasonable state of sanity and can live

within the society now when we reality test we keep getting these pins back saying no this is wrong this is the way it is but they're very very solid pings it tells us at an unconscious level we need to readjust our expectations of the

world let me tell you an extreme example of how this works a friend of mine went through special forces selection and one of the things that happens in there hunter evasion

exercises is it gets sent off into a middle of nowhere then they get hunted until they get caught now meanwhile of course the tired hungry have no equipment that constantly on the move so their resources are being depleted

already but I'm to get caught being driven off in some military vehicle with a bag of their head not knowing who they are where they are where they're going then they get thrown into a cell this cell is a unique underground bunker

which all the furniture and actually nailed the ceiling have even made a light bulb come out with a wire from the floor upwards so all the suggestions all the sub communications are that the ceiling is the floor and vice versa

now here's the funny thing these people who have an indomitable will when they've we put into this situation for long enough and some of the defenses have been broken down a little bit within 20 minutes half an hour at the

most they're literally trying to climb the walls in order to sit on the furniture that's been nailed for sealing that is how reality testing works we take our cues from my environment to check

whether or not things are still correct so when we first meet a stranger whatever their sub communications are will actually take that to be at face value so so if someone is incongruent it looks like they're lying to you and the

instant warning bells go off saying this person is a con man do not trust this person and this is true throughout the phases are trying to establish and maintain your frame now thing that visionary leaders to that people are

passionate about something do is they get so carried away by the emotion with a vision that they've inspired inspired by that they forget to do anything but live in that reality so that anything else of a country almost gets deleted

out now when you're constantly reality testing and the one and only constant in your reality test is a signal coming back saying this is real this is real this is real this is real eventually through repetition and

reinforcement it actually becomes real and you intend to call apps are reality into that which means the most passionate and vivid frame has one if you're going to do this make sure that you back things up with your own beliefs

in other words you must believe in what you're doing if you don't believe in it why should anyone else to it and we're going to believe in something or make sure it's worthwhile believing because ultimately this will affect you as much

as the rest of the world so this is going back to the very core principle of going first if you believe in what you're talking about in the frame that you set with absolute passion and conviction there is

nothing anyone else can do to rattle that cage and prevent it from happening now the next track we're going to look at a couple of ways that you can handle challenges to your frame in such a way that it builds your own belief and other

people's belief in that frame that makes it more real for everyone it's something that you sub communicate and it's something that while said first becomes a bit of pressure on you over time you become so accustomed to

that you yourself become rock-solid in your beliefs your convictions and in the way that you project those through your friends so how do you backup your frame in such a passionate way how do you maintain your frame in the face of a

challenge now one of the first things you have to realize is that soon as someone challenges your frame you're gonna be put onto an immense amount of internal pressure to somehow conform and it when people give in to this internal

pressure that they actually lose the whole battle for the frame so the first thing I'm going to do is recognize a pressure if and when it occurs and then to know how to counter it and more importantly how to present your signals

to the outside world in such a way that it doesn't affect things now this is why your signals are so important you seen when one of the ways that we stay sane within a society it were constantly sending out these little things to test

whether or not things are actually still as we think they are it's called a reality test and it happens unconsciously what concert kind of pink constantly of other people to check that

our beliefs and our perception of the world are still accurate now so long as those things come back in a way that responds yes you'll be okay when enough things come back saying no actually you're incorrect you begin to doubt

begin to have some kind of soul searching to as to whether or not you need to change your opinion if this happens under pressure as well as you do when you get social pressure chances are for most people they'll abandon their

old frame of reference for the new one in order to be able to fit in with Society let me give an example of this in action it's a very powerful example in front of mine used to be the special forces and

as one of the things i do want to go through selection is have to go through a hunter seekers sort of exercise where they get basically hunted by the rest of the army they have to try and evade now invariable what happens is they get

dropped off and some middle of nowhere with a nightmare pocket knife was just a shot in the back and some trousers and that's about it they have to survive for week to ten days on their own

meanwhile of course they're being hunted so they have no food to get no sleep that constantly move the tired so this is already putting them under tremendous amount of pressure eventually they get caught everyone is called eventually and

they got taken off to some secret integration Center with a bag over the head now this is where it gets interesting when they get to the center replace each one of these integration victims inside a chamber in this room

looks like a normal prison cell except that all the furniture has been nailed the ceiling the chairs have been out the ceiling the tables been nailed the ceiling they've even put a cup of water which

has been nailed onto the table which is on the ceiling from the floor there's a wider column comes up with a light bulb to make it look like values the ceiling so of course after 20 minutes half an hour people's understanding of reality

is so war because they're tired anyway that they literally begin to try and climb the walls in order to sit on a chair that's the nail to the ceiling is how much peoples grasp on reality can be influenced given the right conditions

remember these people have incredibly strong willpower otherwise they wouldn't have made it that far so one of the secrets to maintain your frame is project the signals to sub communicate these signals that your

frame is the only frame as the only way the world can be real and if you maintain that like a rock against the sea eventually the tide will pull away and the only thing that will be left over is

the rock that you created so how do we do this in practice when someone challenges your frame the simplest thing to do is to really ignore it now I don't mean ignored in the sense that you kind of pause briefly look at

it and then carry on talking and you can ignore it in the sense that nothing ever even happened you didn't even exist in the world i will give an example of what I mean by this

recently I was out with some friends who are very high-ranking martial artist we're in a hotel lobby having a little chat and then it happens of some children they're playing and being very noisy and running around the place

so one of my friends turns them into very polite way it's awesome to calm down a little bit now the parents really one happy about this and suddenly we have two huge men standing in front of us trying to stare down at us and it's

very obvious what they want they're trying to pick a fight now this is where our reaction was very unusual in that we gave no reaction at all now wants internally we have caused felt the pressure the social pressure to

summer respond to this unspoken Challenger was being presented to us we did instead we'd carry on talking our conversation was nice and light are tone was very smooth as though nothing had happened in fact we pretended that we

couldn't even see these two people standing there there's no quick photo of glances of them as though they didn't even exist and is actually very interesting to notice their reaction and first you guys looked at in a very

impressive and very sort of anger kind of way within a few minutes started losing their confidence in fact so much so that very soon Ashley walked away as though nothing had happened

now here's the important thing why did not have one more thing about it the reason they lost their nerve is because something happened that told them the reality they're projecting the frame they're

trying to set on the interaction doesn't exist it's not valid and because they're not used to this idea of reality testing or someone else sending of different signals their their reality test they

suddenly went into reality in which that fight could not happen in their minds they probably thought what are these people know what can they do why they not even vaguely impressed but we're doing and of course that's how

they lost their nerve but the interesting thing is the reason they could walk away with their head still held high is because we never acknowledged the challenge which means they never had a challenged withdrawal

so they could actually withdraw while saving face and a potentially dangerous situation was to hopefully diffused now if you go to the old school type of martial art studios a lot of them still practice a way of training this ability

to be calm and totally impassive totally non reactive in the face of team danger of some kind of challenge the way they do this is as follows you have all the students lined up and the instructor will come up one by one and you shouted

them you know how abusive them he'll stand face-to-face with them he'll even move suddenly there's going to hit someone and all these things are designed to put someone under pressure and get them to unconsciously respond

with some kind of reaction it could be nervous which it could be to break eye contact it could be to change their breeding shift the weight any reaction in some level sub communicates but the challenge

has been received and acknowledged and thereby you've actually empower that action to be able to be totally impassive means to be there and not even see the person not even take the action is seriously just doesn't exist

imagine a little five-year-old child trying to stay you out as you talking to a friend now she told this friend of course have an important discussion you don't even notice you acknowledge that five-year-old child and this petty

behavior and that is what ignoring a challenge to your frame should feel like you're totally ignoring it like doesn't even exist now if for whatever reason they persist in their challenge the next

thing you can do is just give them a look very non verbal look like what are you doing you're behaving in a really odd way this is really not normal so you do these things not by saying them out loud

because it has very little power it u sub communicate that by the way you look but the facial expression you have but you pause and look perplexed single back to the example of the Ferrari salesman something is a challenge about how many

miles to the gallon discard can do is go looking perplexed like it's an old question why would anyone ask that question is a weird question and the very witness of it that sub communication of that makes people

collapse the reality because it puts another social pressure to conform to be normal to be normally adjusted human beings so again it has a bit more impetus to your reality in which questions like the one that being raised

or challenges like the ones have been given just simply unexpectedly just simply not normal finally if a person continues persist with the challenge you can assume that this challenge isn't the casual

challenge your frame is actually a genuine challenge in other words there's a genuine objection in there that the need to have handled in which case just go ahead and handle it just reframe it or if it's important enough d frame it

you have those skills as well but the important thing you should realize is before you go anywhere near those tools the easiest way to deal with objections it's just to maintain your frame in such a strong way that people just assume

that's the natural way of the world now one running a couple of frames by you which you can start thinking about and really making part of your own now the only value of these frames isn't really in the idea of the concepts behind them

that only value in them when you spend your time to think about what they actually mean and choose the top one way of looking at the world over another if you do that consistently and with real effort now as

you begin to believe in these frames will actually begin to change not just the way you feel but actually the way that the world responds to you because you're start sub communicating them to the outside world and people respond to

in different ways the first frame of reference that wanted to play with this idea of abundance or scarcity someone stuck in the scarce the model the world is someone who thinks it's not enough of things around there so there's an

example might be someone who is in a desert and it's dying of first that person will lie cheat or steal to do whatever it takes in order to preserve just a tiny puddle of water of course someone who's in an abundance world

where there's plenty of water will never do that low they have their dignity up higher and as a result because the projecting that these things are possible other people respond to them in a different way someone who lies cheats

and steals is sub communicating and some level that this is the kind of world he lives in and because that's the kind of world lives them and unconsciously x accept such as being true he's more likely lie

two more likely to be cheated or stolen from because how you perceive the world would you project into the world is also the way that the world will tend to treat you this is the way the idea of like attracts like comes from now

personally I quite like the idea of attracting abundance people want to give me nice things because that's the kind of world I want to live in and that it's just a question of making the right choice and projecting the right kind of

signals so those kind of people feel comfortable in your presence and want to hang out with you and then of course there will be doing stuff with you as well another very powerful frame is do with

cause adverse effect in other words who has control of your world a lot of people give their control away they decide that if only the world with different if only uncle drew was different

if only aunt Marjorie hadn't believed him when he was young if only someone else will change then everything would be okay again now these people are given the power away because no matter what happens in life

they can't do anything about it because it's outside of their control the opposite side of that frame is the one where you're at cause where you choose that to take responsibility for the things that happened to you in your life

people would cause turn around and save themselves okay this is just happen I don't like it what can I do about this so rather than being busy blaming the rest of the world the busy finding out

ways to resolve the problems that they face every day because when it comes down to it a lot of the problems that we might encounter are actually quite random it's just random coincidence is happening now those random coincidences

are happening to you or anyone else is up to you to do something about them because it's very unlikely that a random coincidence will come along to solve the problem a random chance through into your way in the first place starting

control your life and choose to take responsibility to things that happened to you as a result you're starting a lot more of the results that you will see in life the last frame i will leave you is one to do with yourself in a very

personal sort of way can you begin to believe that you're the kind of people that other people look up to other people want to hang around with just because they enjoy the vibe their energy their enthusiasm or whatever that

may be there's actually a very interesting and quirky sense of spiritual guru called stuart wilde whose theory of making money is very simple he says the easiest way to make money is

to work on yourself as a person so you're the kind of person that everyone else just want to hang out with everyone else is really likes when you become that person and people start showing up start building them for the pleasure

now that's nice and tongue-in-cheek is a comment but actually very true most really successful people are people that other people like talking to like interacting with and because of that energy because of the way they like it's

changing things they'll find almost any reason they can to start hanging out even more now if you start from the frame that you are that kind of person the kind of person that other people like that other people hang around with

and will do business with and whatever else we get her life from well if you can sub communicate properly project that into the world then chances are the world will treat you as their you're exactly the kind of person and you start

seeing the same result that a personal that type would be getting if you're not the kind of person yet all is not lost you can still use a frame called the as a frame so let's pretend what it would be like if you

were this person how you behave how we can move how would you breathe how would you engage other people inside your mind you must actually take the time to actually think about this what are the consequences if you're the kind of

person that everyone else wanted to hang out with and spend time with how would you be reacting if someone wants to hang out with you would you be overly friendly would be overly polite would be uncaring how would you be because when

you can answer that question realistically and behave in the same way that someone who is like that would behave then the rest of the world will treat you as though that were true and eventually you'll forget and they'll

forget that all along you just started by pretending and then that's when pretends becomes reality the first exercise is for you to go back to cd11c one if you remember I gave you a couple of examples of conversational

hypnosis in action and then I deconstruction them for you in fact three examples that you can play with I want to go back to those very examples and begin to try and tease out what kind of frames been put there for

the pre frames what the frames have been put in and where is just a question of maintaining your frame in that interaction in order to support frame what you need to do is very simply ask yourself the question what is being

assumed here and is that necessarily true as soon as you find some kind of assumption that assumption almost invariably will be a frame so those assumptions can become natural those assumptions can be implied

those assumptions can be to do with a specific context has been created but just to find those and how they shift the meaning and become very aware of how those things work once you've managed to sensitize you're thinking your mind to

spot where frames are being set what you do then is begin to pay attention to the media listen to advert to news broadcast in particular listen to politicians and the way they create their spin then once

you're listening to them begin to tease out from these same sources what is the implied frame or frames are being maintained where the challenges being made and where they're being reframe d frame pre framed or just

maintained all by themselves this is an important concept because it will begin to show you how naturally people use frame control in everyday interactions the next exercise is one of the keys be able to maintain your friend

no matter how tough the challenges and how much the social pressures on you to conform with everyone else's view of the world in order to do this I want you to actually guard there and begin to learn to be have this impassive non-reaction

stance in the way that you communicate with people so when people say something that you don't agree with always challenging or rattling your cage in some way you become totally non reactive as though things are talking about

doesn't exist was the middle weird in some ways another way to do this is whenever you feel yourself under that social pressure instead of agreeing with what they're saying or even with disagreeing and providing counterpoints

which will be more going on the D framing route all you will do is without agreeing or disagreeing is let the point just float in the air without responding to it in any way that means you must maintain or school your features of your

face be very calm to be unmoving no facial takes looking away no sighing no change in tonality it is speaking about a topic continue speaking about that topic is that a challenge never occurred allow your tone of voice maintain the

exact in pitch the same rhythm the same inflection is very important to be able to do that and notice how people respond to you now at first you wanna so you get this right and that's okay you're

learning how to be able to do this under increasing amount of pressure initially a small amount of pressure is all you'll be able to cope with but the more you do this just like lifting weights the more powerful become in other words the more

resistant to high levels of social pressure you become inside and at that point the levels of frame control that you have will be incredibly powerful the next exercise is a little bit more intellectual or what you do is begin to

notice all the typical objections that you get in your line of work or the places that you would be more influential and so you're a salesperson just list the typical objections you get from someone that says I don't want to

buy this after all once you have this typical list of objections and it's going to take about a week to build together these begin to work out first of all what is the frame being set that allows the actual objection to be a

valid objection so what is the pre frame that the client or potential client is giving you in order to allow that to be a valid objection then look at your pre frames will reframes and d frames that will actually undermine those

assumptions in other words what kind of reality would have to exist in order to make the objection completely invalid to make it's like something that no one would normally think of when you have those then begin to construct your own

frame your own reality in which the ability to buy something or whatever it is that you're doing inside your job is the only logical and seen conclusion that someone can come to when you have that frame you can create a pre frame

out of that and then you can use your reframes and d frames to keep cycling back into this thing test it out and see how well that works for you the next exercise actually very straightforward is begin to pray

test all the useful frames that we've talked about on the CD and incorporate them into your life as though they were true keep asking yourself the question what if it were actually in fact that the world was an abundant place

what if you were in fact the kind of person that everyone else wanted to hang around with what if you were totally in control of your world no matter what happened you were the one who caused it and you're the one who can solve the

problem as well keep thinking this way making a part of your own reality and entered pretend do as if these things were true for you then notice how the world treats you as a result this exercise is in some ways quite charming

is quite a lot of fun i call it the pollyanna frame after the literary character of a little girl who were always find a silver lining in every cloud no matter how messed-up situation was always find something positive

inside of it going to play the pollyanna role you're gonna start practicing this by whenever someone comes up with some kind of negative thing or an objection or a problem in their life you'll start with the words that's good because and

you attach anything at the end of that that will justify the statement in other words that will make it a good thing they'll reframe it into some kind of positive event you'll be making this with enthusiasm it's very important that

you find some kind of enthusiasm no matter what the situation is you can play this game as a game with your friends if you like just as a way of just having some mental acuity we can actually do it inside of normal

conversations just be warned if you do it inside of normal conversations to an excess people will start treating you slightly weirdly although accuse you of making fun of them if that should happen either stop playing the pollyanna frame

for a while or treat this as an opportunity for you to really maintain your frame because when you can maintain your frame under that kind of pressure there will be very few situations that you won't be able to handle comfortably

this game the pollyanna frame is actually a very powerful way to force your mind to reframe instantly and find silver linings to every cloud and by the way every cloud does have at least one genuine worthwhile silver lining that

you to find it's just a question of changing your perspective enough in order to be able to see it this final exercise is something you can spend a long time on and keep coming back to over a period of time

this is even like the master class work in finding frames you can find frames out of the work of one of the greatest most influential people of all time this is Plato's Socrates in the appendix attached to the end of the transcripts

which go with the CD set we included an entire book called the gas which is a dialogue that Socrates has with different people trying to persuade them of different things now Socrates is a master of controlling frames heap

reframes he reframes any d friends at the perfect times now I don't know what your user experiences were all-stars philosophers like Socrates is such a master of frame control that it's worth every moment that you spend analyzing

the way he sets up frames the way steals frames by D framing or by reframing things really watch and listen and learn from that master at work take the stuff that you've learned here and use it to analyze the Socratic

dialogue called the core guess at the end of the transcript inside of your appendix every moment you do that will be a moment really well spent so we've reached the end now this CD on the next CD CD 11 and titled

conversational transformerless getting what you want you discover the secret for how to use conversational-hypnosis to actually influence and persuade others to get the kind of things you need and want out of life you can

discover the power of the pcat formula for personal change so you can help your friends your clients anyone in your family to improve and change your life for the better you'll find the cook persuasion formula

Miller so you can become more influential in your communications will also deal with the hypnotic checklist called life which tells you all the things you must include within a conversational hypnosis interaction to

get the kind of outcome you want you'll discover how to use posthypnotic suggestions in order to motivate behavior of people even when you're not there finally we'll look at how you can create

future memories and implanted in someone so these are memories that the unconscious mind will look toward in order to create attractions again while you're not even there all these things are waiting for you on

the next CD CD 11 i hope you enjoy practicing these exercise that you've experienced so far and i look forward to meeting you again on the next CD until that time enjoy learning and practicing conversational hypnosis

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